Month: May 2018

Dude at the KFC put his name tag on his hat. I don’t know why but it’s funny to me. Every time he looks in the mirror, he knows who he is.

This morning, I’m sitting in my chair at work drinking coffee when I had to adjust my shirt to because some slice of fabric was making my neck itch. I reached into the shirt at my right shoulder blade and found a dryer sheet. Pulled out and tossed it and then I’m like wait a minute, I wore this shirt yesterday. Was this shit in there yesterday, too? Could people see the white dryer sheet through the tiny holes of my main shirt sitting on top of my undershirt? Like for a whole day?

I’m a mongoloid…

So someone says to me, oh mah gahd, I really liked her dress. It was classic but modern.

I don’t even… I didn’t say anything back, but I wanted to say a penis is either large or small. But I don’t think she would get it.

Huzzah!

I don’t know why, but I’ve had this one in my head for a few weeks. It is unimportant. I get into the elevator with this lady, in the morning. It’s the service elevator, the one they’ve put some sort of quilted but rough fabric on the walls of, to protect the walls from getting scratched up, I guess, though I bet the walls are dinged to hell. And I don’t know why, but she says something like, oh man, this elevator, ugh, you ever see that movie about the people in the elevator and they get stuck? I shake my head. She goes on. And one of the people in the elevator is the devil. And I don’t know if she realizes I might be thinking she’s calling me a devil. It’s a black lady. Am I a white devil? And then she starts to laugh because she realizes I’m looking at her funny and I might think she’s saying she’s the devil and the door dings and she backs out with a have a great day, her cackles caroming off the empty early morning hallway of her floor.

It was kinda funny to me, but I was also like, whatever.