Been a minute. Been feeling it lately. Kinda some dead space at work lately that has been making me anxious. Lots of phone calls and meetings that feel like nothing is moving. Waiting on “leadership” to make calls on certain things. Holding certain things back from said group because we don’t want to ask them too many things. The speed of a giant machine, I suppose. I have been putting off some dad related things that bring the feels. I like to think I don’t want to feel that way because it’s unproductive, but it’s scary, and unexpected, and I don’t like it because I have to go through it. Worried about the kid starting middle school soon. Worried about the woman going through her chemo shit. Worried about not being able to breathe at night sometimes, waking up in a gasp, heart racing. Worried about my tongue being swollen last week, thinking it has something to do with my heart. Always worried about my heart for some reason. Because I eat bad and don’t exercise.